The end of the world??? Pull the other one.

Unless you have been living under a rock recently you would know that there has been a few notable natural disasters of late. The volcano in Chile, the cyclone in Burma and the earthquake in China. All indeed are disastrous for the people affected. I was especially taken aback by the mayor of a little town in China who was being interviewed on telly this morning. His wife, two children, mother and father, everything this man loved, were all killed in the earthquake. And yet, his main focus was ensuring that his villagers were safe and looked after. However, what I find disturbing are people who believe that suddenly this is Armegeddon, the apocolypse, that it's all over red rover. Quite frankly it's just dumb coincidence. I think I remember a while ago there were like a spate of earthquakes in Russia, a cyclone and a couple of volcanoes all going off at the same time too. Again people thought it was the end of time. Oh, but wait, let's see...WE'RE STILL HERE! These natural disasters have been occurring for millions of years...some at the same time, some not. The difference this time around is that we're here to see it. Don't you think there were earthquakes in China back in the 1300's?? Volcanoes erupting in Chile in the 1200s? Cyclones in Burma in the 1500s?? More than likely, but we didn't hear about it so I guess they never happened. If a tree falls in a forest..... As a scientist yes, I could explain away these events by pointing out that there is likely to be some sort of sudden tectonic shift in the Pacific Plate, but it could just be coincidence. But Apocolpyse? Man, if it were I want the four horseman, the white horses, the locusts, the rivers of blood, bring it on....but until then, I'll rest easy.

Advertising Mk.II

Just before you thought you couldn't get enough of my last effort, there comes this one:

Reconnecting with the past....TV Style.

It's fair to say that TV has been around for a good 50 years. Also, I guess, since the 1970s it has really become mainstream and not so much of a luxury. Being a child of the 70s I guess I have numerous memories to do with TV. (Before you go harping on about childhood obesity and lack of moral structure, and I'd like to point out that I have turned out to be a very normal and healthy human being.) I guess, as kids, many from our generation would remember having a Sunday night bath and then sitting and watching Wonderful World of Disney on Sunday nights in pajamas and dressing gowns. Or else the Saturday night ritual of dad watching Hey Hey It's Saturday and laughing at jokes you didn't quite understand at the time. Yes, I was thinking about TV shows that I used to enjoy from the past. Some are still top notch, some are totally dated and aren't re-run for good reason. 1: Astroboy. I used to run home from school in order not to miss this. How good was it huh? The picture quality and storylines have really stood the test of time. Yes, I have a few episodes on DVD. So sue me. 2: China Beach. For some reason, lately, I've been thinking about this show. Dunno why. But thanks to YouTube I can watch old clips. I used to love this show. When it screened I guess I was about 16 years old. The storylines and acting were riveting, and if you watch it now, it hasn't dated one little bit. It wasn't your typical Vietnam shoot-em-up action it had depth in its characters. Just brilliant. I wish you could get this on DVD but apparently there are some legal issues with it. Anyway, I wish they could re-run this show, it would so stand out amongst the cops/doctors drama that has saturated the air-waves. 3: Degrassi Street/Degrassi Junior High/Degrassi High. Now this show has dated terribly. However, it was great to watch as a teenager. These kids seemed to have much more interesting lives than I did. The new generation of Degrassi is just pants...one of the kids from the old series has become a teacher and it's all wrong. 4: Curiosity Show. Once a nerd, always a nerd...or more to the point...Give me a child at 7 and I'll give you the adult at 21. Natch. 5: The Big Gig. A comedy show on Channel 2. This was cutting edge stuff, stand up comedians, bands, the lot. It was awesome and absolutely hilarious. I wish there was more of this kind of telly on now, alas, not to be. 6: Starblazers/Battle of the Planets/Voltron. I put these together because they were screened at about the same period of time, albeit alternating the time slot. These Manga cartoons however, unlike Astroboy, have dated and look quite rubbish. I made the mistake a couple of years ago of hiring the entire Starblazers Series 1 from Blockbuster only to have all my happy childhood memories quashed. Do yourselves a favour, just live with the memories.

I should've been in advertising

According to a recent news article, Bicycle Victoria wants more people to ride a bike to work. I fully endorse this sentiment. Apparently, bicycle numbers entering the CBD of Melbourne account for nearly 10% of all traffic now which is fantastic, and is up from 6% only a year ago. Anyway, I was thinking of an advertising strategy that Bicycle Victoria could use to encourage more people to use bicycles, and I came up with this: Especially that petrol is $1.50 a litre now...someone is getting rich out of this.

Maybe there are 8 Signs of ageing...

...and the Lo'Real Commercial got it all wrong. I had a moment the other night when I got excited driving past a bathroom supplies shop. Toilets, sinks, taps, showers, what the?? I would actually rather have a brand new bathroom than a Playstation 3. Something like the one below will be quite adequate thank you very much.

To be Australian...

I was thinking about a memory I had the other day. It's from when I was living in Perth and I was driving south along the Freeway towards the city, it was a sunny day...not too hot, not too cold, I had three mates with me and Triple J were playing a Jebediah song. That very moment, for whatever reason, is etched in my brain. I can almost SMELL the day such is its clarity. What occurred to me that day as well, was how fricken lucky we are living here, I mean seriously, we are a great country. Yes, I have traveled around the world, not extensively, and hey, there probably are countries out there that are nicer than this, but anyway, I digress....So what does it mean to be Australian? It means many things, to many people. I think when you are abroad one becomes even more Australian. I never used to like Rugby Union until I lived in the UK and had to barrack for the Wallabies. I never drank Fosters either. Go figure huh? Some thoughts regarding Australia...... 1: Vegemite is like eating solidified Guiness. An acquired taste to be sure. 2: Traveling 100km to visit a friend barely raises an eyebrow. 3: Thank goodness we measure things in metric. 10 x 10 x 10...what could be easier right? Imperial measurements just make no sense except for their abject randomness. 1 X 12 x 3 x 1432?? There is no logic....move on. 4: Driving on the LHS means left foot clutch, left hand gear change. Any other way and it's like patting your head and rubbing your tummy. Logic again. 5: No guns...well, not entirely. Maybe our lack of seriously unspooled people that have access to said firearms. 6: Sunday trading. How progressive are we huh? 7: one country, one accent. I still don't understand that. 8: Our bank notes are the most colourful in the world. We are awesome. 9: Sport can knock major world affairs off the front page of a newspaper. It's all about priorities.

The seven signs of aging.....

I guess this post is in honour of the Lo'Real TV commercial explaining to women what the seven signs of aging are. But to me, the seven signs of aging can be summed up thus: 1: Radio. As mentioned previously I have become a big fan of AM radio. So much so, that I don't think I have had the car radio on the FM dial for quite some time. The lack of ads, intelligent conversations, and no more of..."RING NOW WIN CASH RIGHT AFTER WE PLAY ANOTHER BOGAN COLD CHISEL SONG YEAH....". 2: General aches and pains. I have, up until recently thought of myself as an 18 year old trapped in a 34 year old's body. However, what with my feet starting to feel the effects of 34 years of bipedal walking things aint what they used to be. On top of this is some intense muscle soreness in my back which came about due to us letting Merlin the greyhound sleep on our bed the other night. Normally I have been used to things like this becoming progressively better over the course of a day or two, but this has been going on now for a good 5 days. Not a good sign. 3: Weekends. During my younger, and lets face it, much less responsible years, I would while away the entire weekend sleeping in. But now, Fridays nights I'm going to bed well before midnight and waking up before 8am. And I don't mean to do this, it's just that I literally cannot keep my eyes open late at night anymore. Gone are my mis-spent days of university cramming before exams until, well, the next day when they opened the exam room doors. 4: Housework. If you saw my bedroom when I was a teenager...no, let's re-phrase that....if you SMELT my bedroom when I was a teenager, many of you would have been calling for a HAZMAT suit and a de-contamination shower. This did not improve during the formative years outside the parental nest living at university. However, at some point, and I can't for the life of me pin point when, that all changed. I have mentioned previously that I just cannot relax when the house is in a state of ill repute. Dishes to clean, floor to mop, tables to dust. It never ends, but when the house is clean, I feel at peace. Maybe doing housework is my personal Zen...who knows. 5: Technology. I was one of those kids that my parents would turn to to set the timer on the VCR. I was bang up to date with the latest technology of the day. But now things are moving at a pace I am finding I cannot keep track of. I have just mastered the art of MP3 and MP4 players, P2P streaming and wireless internet routing. But I feel like I am being left behind by things like Bluetooth, video messaging, VoIP etc. Maybe I should just go a live in the forest somewhere?? 6: Music. In particular that R and B hip hop shit they play on Video Hits every Saturday morning, or that emo depression inducing crap. Oh my god. No wonder kids either want to "pop a cap is your ass" or else "kill myself and my little kitten because nobody loves me for me boo hoo". For crying out loud, get over yourselves honestly. 7: Fashion. Heading into my mid 30s I think I can still get away with wearing jeans, a t-shirt and a nice pair of trainers. But what is the go with teen-age fashion these days? My main bone of contention is skin tight jeans. Skin tight jeans didn't look good in the 80s and they certainly do not look good now. They make the wearer look like they have no arse to shit out of and when combined with one of those hideous. oversized t-shirts, the knob wearing it looks like a shopping bag with chopstick chicken legs. Skin tight jeans are not flattering in the slightest, even anorexic girls who assume they have a body for them just look all kinds of wrong on so many levels. What's worse is that they choose to wear either a)ugg boots b)Big leather boots or c)Pixie boots with them. They are not elegant, nor are they timeless, think about it.