Things that are better than.....

....Australian Idol. 1. Finger nail cuttings. 2. Toe nail cuttings. 3. An IQ greater than 34. 4. Fingernails down a blackboard. 5. A slow internet connection. 6. Poker machines. 7. The smell of Stilton cheese. 8. Running out of petrol on your way to an important appointment on a 43 degree day in rush hour traffic. 9. Squid. 10. Asbestos. 11. An ugly rash. 12. A pretty rash. 13. A pretty ugly rash. 14. Cleaning a bathroom. 15. Gutting a pheasant. 16. Osama bin Laden. 17. A souvlaki from Haci's Kebabs. 18. Dandruff. 19. Hemarroids 20. Broadmeadows plaza.

I am an Olympic Tragic.

For 16 days I couldn't get enough of the Olympics. I thank the International Olympic Committee for allowing not only Channel 7 to broadcast Olympic events, but also they granted us an auxiliary broadcaster in SBS. So two channel of Olympic Games goodness to indulge in. Even sweeter was the fact that this was the first Olympics that our big screen plasma TV has been exposed to with a HD digital signal. Outstanding. Before I get into too much about the past 2 weeks, just a few notes on the respective broadcasters. Channel 7 milked the swimming to the nth degree. OMG, seriously, if I ever hear a swimmer being interviewed on the pool deck after a heat race saying, and I quote;"Yeah, nah, I was really pleased with getting a PB for the hundred fly. I was on record pace for the first split, but I pulled back for tomorrow," I will scream. I DON'T CARE! For all channel 7 concerned about themselves about for the first week was swimming. It didn't matter that we had a no-name someone in a heat who came 7th, they still had to cross to Bruce 'special' McEvaney for his expert insight. SBS meanwhile gave us something else, a viable alternative to those narcissistic swimming team interviews. They gave us archery, table tennis, football, handball, judo, boxing, kayaking...in other words, everything else that Australia wasn't a serious contender in. And that was fine with me, it didn't bother me that our boxers were all bundled out in the first round, it was great to see other countries get up and have a win. So, in no particular order, my top Olympic moments are: 1: Usain Bolt. He broke the 100m world record and wasn't even trying for the last five strides. 2: The weightlifter whose elbow bent backwards. If you don't believe me, look up Youtube; Olympic weightlifter elbow. Youch. 3: The German weightlifter who, on the last lift of the competition, managed to clean and jerk 250kg and win gold. This being after his wife died in a car accident 18 months ago and two failed lifts at 235kg and 242kg. You will not see a more pure expression of joy in your life. 4: The Kayaker from Togo who won their country's first ever olympic medal, a silver, who was so ecstatic he broke his oar over the bow of this boat. 5: The opening ceremony. The synchronicity of the people involved was astounding....but also a bit chilling. Many people likened this to Berlin 1936.

It's not bird flu.

It is quite startling how quickly one goes from being healthy and strapping to being struck down with illness. And that was me, last Wednesday...it was like any other Wednesday, I got up, walked the dogs, had a shower, rode into work..except that I had a little tickle in my throat. I should have been more vigilant on that little tickle because quite frankly it turned on me and in the space of one hour I was a shadow of my former self. I sat in my office wondering why I was seeing two computer screens and why the carpet was moving under my feet. The cough had now degenerated into what amounted to a seal barking. I was speaking, but I really wasn't too sure what I was saying and even if I was making any sense. It all sounds like an acid trip but far from it, this virus had hit me good. My boss, bless him, took me home at lunchtime. By the time I had hit my couch and turned on the Olympics, I was spouting phlegm from my throat and nose is such copious volumes that I was amazed that the human body had such amounts in reserve. It was no good. The dogs looked at me in a way as if to suggest that if I had died then and there, they would have had no hesitation in eating me, they pretended to be sympathetic, but I knew....they could sense my weakness, like vultures circling overhead. So my life for 48 hours consisted of bed, couch, bed. Poor Miss R didn't fare much better, although she was still able to think straight, even go to work and was a tad more mobile than I. And isn't it amazing the state of one's house when all sanity goes out the window. Rubbish, dishes, dust, dirty clothes....not important. What was important was trying to somehow work out what my body was telling me. I couldn't sleep, yet, I couldn't stay awake. Purgatory of the cruelest kind. But somehow, as a testament to the human immune system, some 5 days later, I am feeling human again. I regained my appetite only 24 hours ago and I should point out that over the course of three days all I had eaten were three pieces of fruit toast and some chocolate. It's tough being sick, frustrating even. The world still turns without you and it won't stop to let you back on. I am now 5 kg lighter and really needing to get my strength back up again. Whatever it was, good riddance to it.

Of bikes and other things....

I am starting to get bike rage. No doubt about it. I think I have mentioned previously how there is a certain breed of cyclist out there...the female neo-hippy riding around on a 1980s style kids bike that is barely quicker than a brisk walk. But I'm not sure if my riding is getting quicker, or everyone else is getting slower but I am constantly being held up by cyclists who think that dawdling around in the cycle lane is de rigor. I would hardly call myself a hardcore cyclist by any means, so far I do not ride in lycra nor in a sponsored jersey and my bike pedals are proper pedals that can be used with proper shoes without clicky things underneath. But I just wish sometimes some people would either put in a little more effort or else maybe pull over a bit so we can ride past you without being cleaned up by the semi-trailer baring down behind us. All that aside, it is nice to see many more people cycling to work, even in the depths of winter, the bike paths and lanes around the inner city are being well used. Whether this is a response to petrol prices or what I don't know. I dare say that the fair weather cyclists will be coming out of the woodwork in the next few months, probably to compound my frustrations.