The seven signs of aging.....

I guess this post is in honour of the Lo'Real TV commercial explaining to women what the seven signs of aging are. But to me, the seven signs of aging can be summed up thus: 1: Radio. As mentioned previously I have become a big fan of AM radio. So much so, that I don't think I have had the car radio on the FM dial for quite some time. The lack of ads, intelligent conversations, and no more of..."RING NOW WIN CASH RIGHT AFTER WE PLAY ANOTHER BOGAN COLD CHISEL SONG YEAH....". 2: General aches and pains. I have, up until recently thought of myself as an 18 year old trapped in a 34 year old's body. However, what with my feet starting to feel the effects of 34 years of bipedal walking things aint what they used to be. On top of this is some intense muscle soreness in my back which came about due to us letting Merlin the greyhound sleep on our bed the other night. Normally I have been used to things like this becoming progressively better over the course of a day or two, but this has been going on now for a good 5 days. Not a good sign. 3: Weekends. During my younger, and lets face it, much less responsible years, I would while away the entire weekend sleeping in. But now, Fridays nights I'm going to bed well before midnight and waking up before 8am. And I don't mean to do this, it's just that I literally cannot keep my eyes open late at night anymore. Gone are my mis-spent days of university cramming before exams until, well, the next day when they opened the exam room doors. 4: Housework. If you saw my bedroom when I was a teenager...no, let's re-phrase that....if you SMELT my bedroom when I was a teenager, many of you would have been calling for a HAZMAT suit and a de-contamination shower. This did not improve during the formative years outside the parental nest living at university. However, at some point, and I can't for the life of me pin point when, that all changed. I have mentioned previously that I just cannot relax when the house is in a state of ill repute. Dishes to clean, floor to mop, tables to dust. It never ends, but when the house is clean, I feel at peace. Maybe doing housework is my personal Zen...who knows. 5: Technology. I was one of those kids that my parents would turn to to set the timer on the VCR. I was bang up to date with the latest technology of the day. But now things are moving at a pace I am finding I cannot keep track of. I have just mastered the art of MP3 and MP4 players, P2P streaming and wireless internet routing. But I feel like I am being left behind by things like Bluetooth, video messaging, VoIP etc. Maybe I should just go a live in the forest somewhere?? 6: Music. In particular that R and B hip hop shit they play on Video Hits every Saturday morning, or that emo depression inducing crap. Oh my god. No wonder kids either want to "pop a cap is your ass" or else "kill myself and my little kitten because nobody loves me for me boo hoo". For crying out loud, get over yourselves honestly. 7: Fashion. Heading into my mid 30s I think I can still get away with wearing jeans, a t-shirt and a nice pair of trainers. But what is the go with teen-age fashion these days? My main bone of contention is skin tight jeans. Skin tight jeans didn't look good in the 80s and they certainly do not look good now. They make the wearer look like they have no arse to shit out of and when combined with one of those hideous. oversized t-shirts, the knob wearing it looks like a shopping bag with chopstick chicken legs. Skin tight jeans are not flattering in the slightest, even anorexic girls who assume they have a body for them just look all kinds of wrong on so many levels. What's worse is that they choose to wear either a)ugg boots b)Big leather boots or c)Pixie boots with them. They are not elegant, nor are they timeless, think about it.