Reservoir is not just a suburb but a lifestyle option.....

As I have mentioned on numerous occasions, I live in the Melbourne suburb of Reservoir. When I mention this fact to people they either look at me in abject disgust or horror or respect me out of fear that I will break into their houses and rob them. Whatever. Reservoir isn't the shithole many people make it out to be. I swear there are places in South Yarra that are far uglier with far less savoury people about. To the casual observer however, there are a few nuances of the suburb that one has to negotiate to really fit on like: 1: Spaghetti Junction. Somewhere in the inner reaches of some genius' brain lay the reasoning behind a 7 way intersection with a train line and station smack bang in the middle if it. This intersection effectively splits the suburb in two. You think I'm joking, but just look at the aerial photo to prove it. I mean, seriously, if you don't jag a traffic light sequence it can take up to 20 minutes just to get from one side of the railway line to the other. It is easier to park and walk across. Luckily we don't need to cross it all that often because of.... 2: The Two Sides of the Tracks. The railway line splits the suburb in two. I have only ever ventured to the 'other side' when desperate for some thai take away...which they didn't have. The 'other side' is a scary place, full of $2 shops and lebanese greengrocers and there is NO car parking. This is probably the reason there are so many boarded up shops there, although the "Broadway Bingo Hall" does tempt me from time to time. 3: Cars. If you don't own a VL Commodore/Calais, skyline, Silvia, turbo ANYTHING, or V8 you really don't fit in. Looks like I don't fit in. 4: Coles: Don't shop at Reservoir Coles. They won't have what you want and their checkout queues stretch down the frozen food aisle. Just drive to the Preston Safeway and experience the difference. 5: Edwardes Lake: The lake is awesome. A jewel in the crown of the northern burbs. I did however find out that it was drained 2 years ago and stank out every house in a 5km radius. Hopefully they won't be doing that anytime soon. 6: Furniture. No, I don't go peeking into people's loungerooms to see what lounge suites they own, you only have to see them dumped on their front lawns or nature strips. Oh yes, if you need any free lounge furniture, a quick trawl of the streets will soon have your house full of quality, second hand couches and three legged coffee tables. Tops.