Complaint letter

This is a letter I have written to Australia Post regarding their quite shabby treatment of Miss R last week. I would like to congratulate your staff at your Reservoir branch for being so unconditionally helpful in my time of need. It seems that while one can obtain passport verification interviews, a document I’m sure you would agree is quite important, it would seem that your staff are quite unable (or incapable) to sign as witness for a police check document. I would understand if maybe I was trying to defraudthe Commonwealth yet if your wonderfully curt supervisor had merely looked into my situation she would clearly have seen that that was not the case. She was obviously quite well versed in your “No Signature” policy and your “Slack off and Gossip Behind the Counter” policy, but had obviously not read your “Suggest an Alternative Course of Action” policy, or your “Take Care of the Customer” policy. The bluntness and harshness directed towards me by this vitriolic woman should be congratulated and is all I would expect from a government run monopoly. In the end I got my drug dealing neighbour to witness my document, someone who was far more accommodating, which is sad indictment in this world of ours don’t you think? And, well, pardon me for asking, but for what good reason can’t one obtain a money order with a credit card? From my, well, rudimentary knowledge of financial matters, I always assumed that money was money, regardless of whose it was. It would seem that I can pay a money order with cash that I mugged the old lady across the road for, yet my quite legitimate credit card was not good enough for you. Again, I would like to commend the staff at your Reservoir branch for pointing this out to me after I had been standing in a queue, that, let’s face it, I had been standing in since the Paul Keating government. This letter, no doubt, is being handed up and down the managerial ladder, if you have bothered to take any notice of me at all because hey, I am a customer. But kudos to your Reservoir staff on their strict adherence to your antiquated and unhelpful policies that you have obviously spent so much time on perfecting. If, per chance in a fairytale future, another postal service were to avail themselves to me, I could only hope that their staff don’t aim to lack the enormous amounts of initiative that yours do.